At the beginning of the attack his wild bellowing made the earth tremble; but after a few minutes he ceased bellowing, and settled down to business, devoting all his energies to lunging at me with his head, and kicking at me with his heels. My only weapon was my knife, and I could have killed him with that, but my wife the day before had broken off the point of it, trying to open a coconut, and had kept the accident a secret from me, fearing that I would scold.
–John Roy Musick, Hawaii: Our New Possessions (1898) (emphasis mine)
Phew! Stakes were high in 19th century Hawaii. The wife is in trouble with her husband. The husband is in trouble with a wild bull. All because of a coconut.
Meanwhile, in 21st century Victoria, a girl is standing at the kitchen counter on a bright June afternoon, hacking at a coconut with a dusty, paint-stained mallet. Her confidence is drooping as the blows get more reckless. The mason jars lining the countertop are vibrating in sync with the beat of the falling weapon. Thirty minutes later, there is a lull of defeat in the music, and the coconut comes to a momentary rest on the cutting board, unfazed and unblemished.
Never have I met such a stubborn piece of fruit! I don’t know whether to bellow, like the enraged Hawaiian bull or to break into a fit of giggles at the absurdity of the scene. I do the latter, and throw the coconut against the counter in a final, pathetic attempt to break it open. No dice.
I am not the first woman to get frustrated by a coconut, and I likely won’t be the last. Fortunately, there is another way.
Martha Stewart to the Rescue
This isn’t my first time opening a coconut, and I think in most cases, a mallet or hammer is a fine and sufficient tool to get the job done. Simply tap the coconut around its equator until it begins to crack. Catch the water in a bowl and gulp it down with carnal satisfaction to congratulate yourself on your success. However, there is a more foolproof method, one that works on even the most stubborn of coconuts, and eliminates the risk of wasting precious coconut water.
You will need:
- Screwdriver or corkscrew
- Oven
- Baking Sheet
- Cleaver, mallet or hammer
- Spoon
- Vegetable peeler or pairing knife
- Preheat the oven to 400 F.
- Find the three “eyes” of the coconut, and probe them with a screwdriver or corkscrew to find out which one is softest. Pierce through it, and turn the coconut upside down over a bowl to pour out the water, shaking the coconut if necessary.
- Place the coconut on a baking sheet and bake in the oven for 20 minutes, or until the shell begins to crack.
- Remove the coconut from the oven, place it on a cutting board and hit it with your blunt instrument of choice. The coconut should break easily, and the flesh should be easy to pry from the shell with a spoon.
- The final step is to remove the brown skin from the flesh with a vegetable peeler or pairing knife.
Voila! You are now ready to have a coconut party.
About the Recipe
Coconut chutney is a common condiment prepared in the southern Indian states and served for breakfast as a condiment for dosa (thin pancakes made from a batter of fermented rice and black gram) and idli (steamed cakes made from a similar batter) or for snacks with a variety of savoury fritters. Creamy, nutty and mellowly fragrant, it also tastes great as a dip for vegetable chips, or (gasp) shoveled into your mouth with a spoon. This recipe is my own version, using cashews instead of more common peanuts or gram. Because it is made from fresh coconut flesh, it is best eaten on the day it is made. The colour and taste will muddy the longer you leave it in the fridge. Feel free to adjust the amount of chili to suit your taste for fire!
About the Ingredients
Fresh Curry Leaves
Don’t be confused by the name; these dark waxy leaves have nothing to do with curry powder. They come from the curry tree (Muraya koenigii), a plant native to India, where they are fried in oil to lend beautiful aromas to curries and chutneys. Curry leaves, also referred to as sweet neem leaves in India, have a unique fragrance: citrusy, earthy, a little smokey, with hints of anise and lemongrass. There is nothing quite like them! I fell in love with curry leaves the first time I dropped them in a pan of hot oil and was greeted by the aforementioned bouquet. It’s the kind of smell that’s hard to pin down or describe, but one thing is for sure: it transports you to another place, one that invites lingering. Unlike bay leaves or kaffir lime leaves, which are usually fished out of a dish before eating or left on the plate, curry leaves are perfectly edible.
Depending on where you live, curry leaves may be hard to find. The good news is that they freeze very well, so if you chance upon a large bunch, don’t hesitate to buy it all and freeze it for later. You may be able to find dry curry leaves, but I don’t recommend them. Just as with basil, most of the aromas don’t hold up through the drying process. The recipe will taste great without them if you can’t find them, but if you manage to source them, you’re in for a treat.
Victoria shoppers: check the herb section at the Market on Yates, or the produce section at Fairway Market. I usually buy a large quantity of leaves when I see them, and freeze what I won’t use up immediately in vacuum-sealed bags.
Curry Leaves (and a blue hydrangea)
Asafoetida / Hing
Asafoetida, known in India as hing, is the dried gum resin collected from the rhizomes or taproots of certain species of the genus Ferula (giant fennels), plants in the same family as culinary fennel. They are found across the Mediterranean and Central Asia, and have been used for their medicinal properties as far back as 750 BC by the Babylonians. In India, asafoetida is used to flavour dishes, and also for its supposed antiseptic qualities. Asafoetida develops an oniony flavour when fried in oil, and is used by certain religious groups whose diets forbid the use of alliums like onion and garlic.
With asafoetida, less is more. A little pinch will provide enough fragrance to a dish, and any more might make it taste too medicinal.
Victoria Shoppers: You can buy powdered asafoetida at the Market on Yates, but for those (like me) who are sensitive to gluten, be forewarned that it contains wheat, likely as an anti-caking agent. I opted to buy a gluten-free version online that contains rice flour instead of wheat flour.
Black Mustard Seeds
Larger than their more common cousins, yellow and brown mustard seeds, black mustard seeds become extremely fiery when crushed and mixed with water, thanks to the sulfur compound sinigrin. When the seed coat is broken and the contents come into contact with water, the enzyme myrosinase, also present in the seeds, reacts with sinigrin to produce the new, highly pungent compounds that we associate with hot mustard. However, in this recipe, as in many Indian preparations, the mustard seeds are fried in oil. The heat stops the reaction, and the result is a shiny greyish seed with a mild nutty flavour.
Unlike its yellow and brown counterparts, black mustard seeds are not suited to mechanical harvesting. This makes them somewhat pricier harder to find than the other varieties. Thankfully, you can substitute smaller brown mustard seeds for a similar taste.
Victoria Shoppers: Cobble Hill-based company Organic Fair (better known for their awesome chocolate bars) sells organic black mustard seeds. They are available at the Market on Yates, if you are willing to pay the steep price. For a fraction of the cost, you can find bags of brown mustard seeds in the Indian spice section of the Market, between the bulk foods alley and the fish counter.
Joëlle
Yields 2 cups
Serves 4-8
Deliciously nutty, creamy and fragrant, this fresh coconut chutney is well worth the effort to crack open that tough coconut shell. Enjoy as a condiment with savoury pancakes, cakes and fritters, for breakfast or as a satisfying snack.
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Ingredients
- Flesh of 1 coconut
- 1-2 green chiles, seeded and roughly chopped
- 4 tbsp cashews, toasted
- 1 tbsp ginger
- Shio koji or salt, to taste
- Water, as needed
- 2 tbsp avocado oil
- 1 tbsp black mustard seeds
- 2 dried red chiles, deseeded
- Pinch asafoetida (hing), optional
- 12-16 fresh curry leaves
Instructions
- Peel the brown skin from the white flesh of the coconut. Cut the flesh into chunks and add them to the bowl of a blender, along with the green chiles, cashews and ginger.
- Blend to a paste, adding water as needed to reach your desired consistency.
- Heat the avocado oil over medium heat. Add the black mustard seeds. As soon as they start popping, add the curry leaves and red chiles. Keep continuing until the curry leaves start to crisp up, a minute or so. Remove from the heat and pour the oil and spices over the chutney.
- Serve immediately.
Notes
Fresh coconut chutney can keep in the fridge for a few days, but it tastes much better if eaten on the day it is made.
Calories
Fat
Carbs
Protein
References
Bharadwaj, Monisha. The Indian Cookery Course. Kyle Books, 2016.
Davidson, Alan, et al. The Oxford Companion to Food. Oxford University Press, 2014.
